The Toxic Relationship Called Addiction

Hello, dear reader,

First, let me say a heartfelt thank you for always reading, commenting, and sharing my articles. Your unwavering support keeps me going, and to those who take the time to send me personal messages of encouragement—your kindness fuels my journey.

It’s been a while since my last article, the longest break I’ve taken, actually. Work has consumed most of my thoughts and time lately, leaving little room for personal reflection. But that’s about to change. Thank you for sticking with me through the quiet periods.

Today, I want to share something deeply personal and reflective. It’s not “nothing” in the literal sense, but rather a topic that weighs heavily on the lives of many: addiction. This toxic relationship spares no one—from the person on the street to the highest echelons of society.

Understanding Addiction

When we think of addiction, substances like drugs and alcohol often come to mind, but it goes far beyond that. Addiction can manifest in countless forms—smoking, pornography, overeating, social media, gambling, unhealthy relationships, or even something as seemingly harmless as soda.

At its core, addiction is the inability to stop engaging in a behaviour or consuming a substance despite its negative impact on your life. It enslaves and erodes, turning even small habits into chains. Whether it's overspending, binge-watching, or substance abuse, if it wears you down and feels impossible to quit, it’s an addiction.

My Personal Battle with Addiction

I write not as an outsider but as someone who has lived through the suffocating grip of addiction. By 2019, I was battling multiple addictions—cigarettes, weed, codeine, Rohypnol, and soda. It was a storm that raged within me for years, yet I saw nothing wrong at the time.

People warned me. Friends worried. But I didn’t care. My addiction consumed me—two packs of cigarettes a day, one card of Rohypnol, at least one bottle of codeine, and so on. My life revolved around feeding these vices, even to the point of begging for money. Relationships suffered, jobs were unimportant, and I only cared about the next fix.

Breaking free wasn’t easy. In fact, it was the hardest fight of my life.

How I Began to Overcome

The first step? Acknowledging I had a problem. It sounds simple, but for me, it was monumental. Once I admitted I was trapped, I knew I couldn’t quit everything at once—it would be overwhelming. So, I started small.

The first vice I tackled was soda. I stopped buying it and refused even when it was offered to me. Then, I got a job, which kept me occupied and gradually reduced my dependency on other substances like codeine and Rohypnol.

By early 2023, I’d made significant progress. A documentary about dementia inspired me to further reduce my usage. By March, I had stopped Rohypnol entirely. Weed became an occasional indulgence, and codeine faded from my life.

But cigarettes—my strongest addiction—remained. I tried to quit countless times, only to relapse. Even warnings from doctors couldn’t break the cycle.

My Turning Point

On December 31, 2023, I was hospitalized with food poisoning. During my stay, I watched a crossover service with my mom, and something shifted. I decided that once I was discharged, I wouldn’t smoke again.

Initially, I didn’t believe I could do it. So, I set a small goal: three days. I stayed home, avoiding triggers, and made it. Then I pushed to seven days—a gruelling week filled with cravings and temptations. But I persevered. Seven days turned into a month, then three months, six months, and now, as I write this, I’m just 20 days shy of one year smoke-free.

You Can Overcome Too

Addiction is a toxic relationship that thrives on hopelessness. But here’s the truth: you can break free. No one can do it for you; the strength has to come from within. Reflect on what addiction is costing you—your health, relationships, and peace of mind—and take that first step.

If I can overcome multiple addictions, so can you. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. I’m rooting for you.

Thank you for reading and for being part of this journey.

Your Friend,
K. Nakamoto